David Cameron will undoubtedly go down as one of the most ridiculous and bathetic Prime Ministers in British history, but nobody can say that he’s not a good friend. Whether you’re corrupt or incompetent or a bit of both, if you’re besties with Dave you’ll turn out alright.
His former Director of Communications Andy Coulson may have served his share of prison time after being belatedly found guilty of conspiracy as part of the News International phone hacking scandal, but close family friend Rebekah Brooks was cleared of all charges using incompetence as her defence, claiming that she had no idea about the sort of illegal practises which provided News of the World with its headlines during her time as editor, including the voicemail hacking of murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler in 2002.
And while Cameron sought to deflate gracefully after losing the EU referendum vote, resigning immediately – despite repeatedly vowing that he would remain in his post – and slipping away months ahead of schedule to ease the succession of Theresa May, some of his final undertakings as Prime Minister are causing renewed accusations of the sort of cronyism which never seemed too far from the surface during the old Eton boy’s premiership.
First – despite the condemnation of everyone in the civil service, including its chief executive John Manzoni – Cameron topped up the redundancy pay owed to his special advisers by more than a quarter of a million pounds. Although Manzoni wrote to Cameron stating ‘I do not believe that there is a case for awarding higher sums than those for which the contract allows’, in his waning days the former Prime Minister took the irregular step of handing his closest aids six months’ pay instead of the four and a half months stipulated by their contracts.
Now reports have emerged detailing his resignation honours list. Restoring the absurd tradition after it was passed over by Tony Blair and Gordon Brown – although Blair departed office while still embroiled in a ‘cash for honours’ scandal, while Brown issued a dissolution list to much the same effect – Cameron appears to have opted to honour a whole gathering of his closest colleagues and chums.
Former chancellor George Osborne has been jotted down for a Companion of Honour, an order which rewards ‘outstanding achievement’ and consists of no more than sixty-five members. At present these include such luminaries as naturalist Sir David Attenborough, physicist Stephen Hawking, artist David Hockney, and actress Dame Judi Dench. But members also include The Lord Tebbit and The Lord Howard of Lympne, which means Norman and Michael, so Osborne would not be in altogether illustrious company.
Will Straw, who managed to head the Remain campaign without naming a single positive thing about the European Union, will be recommended for a CBE. And among the forty-eight aides, allies, and Tory donors who Cameron’s list seeks to award, there will be a knighthood for Ian Taylor, a businessman who has donated £1.6 million to the Conservative Party; a damehood for Arabella Warburton, chief of staff to former Prime Minister John Major and a campaigner for Remain; and an OBE for Isabel Spearman, the stylist of Cameron’s wife Samantha.
Some sources have cast doubt on the notion that four pro-EU cabinet ministers – the mealy-mouthed Philip Hammond, Michael Fallon, David Lidington, and Patrick McLoughlin – have been forwarded for knighthoods. But despite being held up because of ethical concerns regarding some of the nominees, ignoring widespread criticism, Theresa May has declined to intervene.
Was Cameron disowned by a family member at a young age, or bullied remorselessly in his early schooldays? His friends are hardly the best, but his tenacity in keeping them and his sheer gall in rewarding them for their failures is equally impressive as his two terms as Prime Minister were malicious.
