More than a year in the making, Ronda Rousey’s return to the Octagon was hotly anticipated, and not just in the loins when she emerged from her long hibernation looking lithe and lean and in all-round great shape. Alas it proved shockingly short-lived.
Bruised and benumbed by the blistering hands of Brazilian Bantamweight champion Amanda Nunes, within just 48 seconds of the onset of the main event at UFC 207, Rousey’s days as the ultimate female ultimate fighter appear now to be over and done.
Twelve consecutive victories in her first twelve fights as a mixed martial artist made her one of the most celebrated athletes in the world. She was feted by sports columnists and search rankings, and appeared on a string of talk shows to boot. Her mainstream appeal – pretty plus a former Olympian – saw the Rowdy one roughhouse her way too into the realm of film.
But upon her loss to Holly Holm at UFC 193 in November 2015, a remake of Road House meant to star Rousey was pulled from production. Two defeats in a row and question marks over her attitude mean that if she were embark on a wrestling career, it could only be as a heel. The $3 million she won for losing to Nunes should more than tide her over. But in a relationship with Travis Browne and part of Edmond Tarverdyan’s stable, she is liable soon to have more than a few mouths to feed.
So where can Ronda Rousey turn for money? Thankfully this is where today’s politics finds its use. In this climate of groping machismo, in which pussy grabs and anti-feminist jabs and misogyny rule, and with Rousey now cast as the embittered overhyped loser, she is the female ideal for Trump fans in search of someone to thump.
Rousey has duly lent her likeness to a line of punchbags by Reebok, sure to be a top seller in Trump’s politically incorrect new world. While she spurned a larger offer for both front and rear – which would have made the bags both something to hit and something to hold – her face is set to become the target for professional and amateur hardmen across the United States.
The new punchbags will come with Reebok’s patented gel technology: a layer of slimy stuff just beneath the surface will allow men to quite literally beat Rousey black and blue. Browne himself, adopting an alias, reportedly has the first order already placed. Remember when Joe Rogan had the audacity to praise Rousey’s boxing? At least she’ll show head movement when the punchbag sways!
