Nobody in Britain who finds themselves compelled to catch the train – whether on a regular, intermittent, or entirely haphazard sort of basis – can doubt for one moment the incompetence of the present privatised system. Trains are routinely late and delayed en route for a whole litany of reasons passed off as the whims of a cruel fate. Perhaps something has blown onto the line, maybe the driver has locked himself into the wrong cabin, or two trains have disconnected, or one train finds its twin in the way, or somebody keeps pressing the damn disabled buzzer under the impression that it is in fact a refreshment bell.
Either way you won’t make your destination on time, but some loophole means it’s not the train company’s fault, and besides you’re just inside the allocated period in which a delay is not considered a delay. And not only will you find yourself rudely shunted from schedule when you opt to journey by rail.
If your train happens to be in the station ahead of its intended departure, don’t expect to be allowed to board. The train companies want you to freeze in cold weather, or be beset by rain, wind, or the harsh rays of the brief summer sun. Your comfort is of the least concern as rail employees idly sweep the cabins, filling the time lest they open the doors and allow unimaginable havoc to ensue.
On the train you’ll be asked several times for the same ticket, which you’ll have to find again if you want to escape from the platform once you reach your journey’s end. The refreshments on offer will amount to overpriced sandwiches and sweets. The toilet will smell or be shut off from public consumption. The bike racks will be too few. Your train will be overcrowded owing to a shortage of carriages, and even if it isn’t the layout seems to resemble a communal diner rather than a space for dignified use.
Thanks to the government, the price for all this continues to rise in line with the high figure of RPI inflation, even though the measure was discredited in 2013 for being biased upwards and failing to meet international standards. The link with RPI inflation means that come January, rail fares are set to increase by 1.9%. The current figure for CPI inflation stands instead at 0.6%, and a recent study by the campaign group Railfuture indicated that if rail fares over the past decade had been linked to the CPI rather than the RPI, prices today would be 10% less. It seems that the CPI is only good for minimising benefits and public-sector pay.
Which makes it all the more stupid but no less grave if Jeremy Corbyn has in fact played fast and loose with a recent trip on Virgin. A short video released last week on behalf of the Labour leader showed him sitting on the floor of what he described as a ‘ram-packed’ train. Now Virgin have questioned his account, offering CCTV footage which they allege shows Corbyn walking past available seating, as if on a mission to hitch his hide to the floor-bound filth in order to stress his political point of view.
Corbyn’s team have asserted that all the seats on the train were either reserved or carrying baggage, and a couple of witnesses who were also forced to stand or sit on the floor have broadly corroborated this version of events. A still image tweeted by Virgin founder Richard Branson hardly clarifies the matter, as the seats Corbyn is shown walking past all seem to carry reserved tickets. The case for renationalising the railways is clear every time one is forced to board one of Britain’s godforsaken trains, but the truth in the case of Corbyn vs. Virgin is one only mouthless bags could tell.
