Nobody in Britain who finds themselves compelled to catch the train – whether on a regular, intermittent, or entirely haphazard sort of basis – can doubt for one moment the incompetence of the present privatised system. Trains are routinely late and delayed en route for a whole litany of reasons passed off as the whims of a cruel fate. Perhaps something has…
It should go without saying that true moderates would never hire a firing squad to dispatch of their enemies, much less turn the guns on members supposedly of their own party, nor would they set fire to their shared accommodation and squeal with delight as they found themselves immolated by the flames. But the self-described moderates of today’s Labour Party have…
Did you think that joining the army meant a life of sodomy at the hands of your bedfellow, while you wait around forlornly in the meek hope that one day you might shoot or be shot by someone you don’t know? In fact the army also means being yelled at until the spit drips down your face, crude banter and environmental…
Poles and Muslims find themselves overwhelmingly under attack, with the brave perpetrators especially targeting Muslim women as they daub buildings with graffiti and subject individuals to verbal and physical assault. After working for years in the country, filling jobs the natives won’t touch, people from Brazil, Egypt, Nigeria, Nepal, and Albania – to name just a few – find themselves seized…
For a party which flourished on socialist principles, and was meant to democratically represent the working class, the imposition of an exorbitant £25 fee for the right to vote in the upcoming leadership election might have seemed dangerously like Labour’s last gasp. But now that the ban on the voting rights of recent members has been overturned by the High Court, the…
After Michael Gove’s heavy hands disturbed the Queen’s sense of decorum during the EU referendum campaign, as the now-former justice secretary informed one tabloid of her veiled preference for Brexit, The Shimmering Ostrich can explosively reveal that the Queen summoned Gove to Windsor Castle, where in the midst of great anger he was dealt with very roughly indeed. The lure was a…
When it was confirmed to Oliver Letwin, the longtime Conservative policy wonk, that he is indeed to be handed one of the highest awards afforded by David Cameron’s resignation honours list, he said ‘One love! One heart!’, and tugging at his surreptitiously braided hair, called on his former boss to offer, ‘Let’s get together and feel alright’. And Oliver Letwin said…
In most jobs you wouldn’t take eagerly to the national press only to boldly predict your own failure, but Met chief Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe has been telling everyone this week that a terrorist atrocity ought to be expected every moment he remains in charge. As the Metropolitan police commissioner, Hogan-Howe is the highest ranking police officer in the United Kingdom. And beyond…
If your party is one person, how do you lose that person and keep up the pretence of having a party? That is the quandary facing UKIP as it searches for a new leader to replace the outgoing, and already bitterly divisive, Nigel Farage. Never more than a single-issue undertaking, a solitary soapbox with an inflammatory slogan scrawled on the front, post-Farage and…
David Cameron will undoubtedly go down as one of the most ridiculous and bathetic Prime Ministers in British history, but nobody can say that he’s not a good friend. Whether you’re corrupt or incompetent or a bit of both, if you’re besties with Dave you’ll turn out alright. His former Director of Communications Andy Coulson may have served his share…
