All-Round Sport

Thinking Big: Allardyce Plans To Become England’s Worst Ever Manager

There was a time when more than Big Sam Allardyce’s weight seemed genuinely groundbreaking. As Bolton manager he became renowned as one of the Premier League’s pioneering sports scientists, advocating the use of Prozone analysis, yoga sessions, rhetorical rectal prolapses, and daily pills. And with scant resources he was forced to scour Europe and take chances on talented players who…

2012 Olympics Runner Finally Finishes, Takes Bronze Thanks To Doping DQs

For most people the 2012 London Olympics remains a fond memory of when Britain, in the immortal words of Sebastian Coe, ‘gone done it right’. That was the phrase which echoed throughout the Olympic Stadium and beyond on the night of the unforgettable opening ceremony orchestrated by Danny Boyle, when the whole world was offered a Pisgah sight of Britain as…

Allardyce Benches Long-Ball, As Tactic Refuses To Sign With Agent

Among the many credentials which ought to have prevented Sam Allardyce ever being considered for the position of England manager – his lack of European experience, a poor top-flight win-loss record, a contentious relationship with prior club fans, the very fact that he is English – one of the biggest cited concerns has been his tendency to adopt a pragmatic…

Wet Dreams Become Nightmares: Now Holm Falls To Shevchenko

Already in some discomfort, turned rudely on its head by the defeat of Ronda Rousey last November, over the past couple of weeks the throbbing organ of popular interest in the UFC Women’s Bantamweight division has succumbed to what can only be described as blunt force trauma. First Miesha Tate was dismantled in the first round of her first title defence by Amanda Nunes,…

Anything Can Happen In WWE As Brand Draft Reveals Few Surprises

As the company is fond of informing both its longtime and prospective fanbase, anything can happen in World Wrestling Entertainment. And so it proved on Tuesday night, as the first live Smackdown aired on the USA Network. After a couple of months of heated anticipation, it was finally time for the brand draft to divide the roster into two not-quite-even…

Plans To Reduce Intolerable On-Pitch Behaviour Leave Leeway For Rooney

For the best part of twenty years Manchester United enjoyed an effective hegemony over the Premier League, as between 1993 and 2013 a glorified group of British youngsters, led by Alex Ferguson the red-nosed Scot, helped the side to a remarkable thirteen league titles. For much of the past decade Manchester United’s main rivals at the top of the Premier…

Quoth The Raven ‘Nevermore’ As Levy Spoils Lesnar’s UFC Comeback

He was supposed to fight the heavy-handed New Zealander Mark Hunt in the co-main event of UFC 200 on Saturday, a momentous return to the sport after last featuring all the way back in December 2011. So much rested on the bout, which had been scheduled at all costs after the fiasco around Conor McGregor. A whopping paycheck was already…

Woman Eating Messy Burrito Complains Over Wimbledon Channel Switches

As the action on Centre Court yesterday at Wimbledon spilled over into the hours of late evening, Andy Murray and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga knocked the tennis ball vigorously back and forth in a topsy-turvy bout which never seemed settled until late in the fifth set. Murray eventually prevailed, but only after saving break points at the start of the fifth which…

Remembering McGrally: The Dunce Of The Class Of ’92

Call them what you will, the Class of ’92 or Fergie’s Fledglings, the group of players who emerged from the Manchester United youth academy in the early-to-mid 1990s achieved the rarest of feats. Winning Premier League after Premier League alongside an assortment of European, FA, and League cups, the group – which included Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, David Beckham, Nicky…