All-Round Sport

Conor McGregor And The Four-Leaf Clover

It wasn’t until the early hours of Sunday morning, on the occassion of the first UFC event in the city of New York, at the climax of MMA’s grand entrance to the mecca that is Madison Square Garden, that Conor McGregor scored his own piece of history, becoming the only dual-weight title holder at the top level of the sport. Following his swift…

Baby Who Swallowed Coin Won’t Pay Us Back For Olympic Stadium

When so-called football supporters began throwing coins inside the Olympic Stadium on Wednesday, and one of those coins landed smack-dab in a baby’s mouth – present partly because she is her father’s progeny, but also because she longed for a precious glimpse of the arena that housed Olympic heroes from before she was born – and when the baby, the coin…

Will She Or Won’t She: Johanna Konta And The WTA Finals

Since its first iteration in 1972, the annual meeting of the world’s best female tennis players in what is today known as the WTA Finals has gone through a dozen names and almost as many locations, but it last featured a Brit back in 1984, when Jo Durie climbed as high as number 5 in the rankings. So British tennis fans were…

Europeans Favour Hard Brexit Before Next Ryder Cup

For fifty long years Great Britain and Ireland suffered under the tyrannical yoke of United States golf. From the first formally organised Ryder Cup of 1927 all the way through until 1977, when the plucky Brits breathed their last, chipped and putted to pieces before being squashed under the spikes and cleats of the American boot, the United States triumphed…

Translating Doublespeak Following The Demise Of Big Sam

Shock horror, Sam Allardyce is corrupt. Those with even a passing interest in English football surely already knew it, but the fact has been reemphasised over the past week as part of an investigation conducted by the Daily Telegraph, which led with footage showing Allardyce discussing how to get around bans on third-party ownership. Allied to the dubious money-making nature…

Lollipop Guild Wins First Interpretive Group Gymnastics

When it comes to men’s gymnastics, the floor exercise has always been a solitary and rarefied pursuit. Judged with an eye for artistic merit, showcasing dancing and flair alongside tumbling and feats of strength, gymnasts hurtle headlong across the carpet, completing Arabian pikes or double or quadruple tucks, before falling gracefully stationary as they linger in handstands or the splits. These lithe yet…

Gary Cahill Shirks Sincerity After Yet Another Mistake

When Gary Cahill felt that he had been fouled in the build-up to Swansea’s second goal a few weeks ago versus Chelsea – Leroy Fer bundling the England centre-back off the ball and finishing to give his side a 2-1 lead, before Diego Costa scored an acrobatic late equaliser – he boldly emerged after the match to show everyone the extent…

Sex Pest Ryan Giggs Pokes His Nose Into Swans Affairs

Best known as the serial adulterer who obtained a super-injunction over one of his affairs, then tried to sue Twitter users for inevitably breaking it, and as the footballer who refereed Manchester United matches for more than two decades, Ryan Giggs continues to believe that the world – and especially the media – bends to his every whim. An unscrupulous cheat…

Wayne Rooney Offers Hope To The Non-Professional

Are you of ruddy complexion, barely nourished on a diet of chips, cheese, and gravy and spag bol, and genetically determined to bald prematurely, your body ageing at a rate that skips stops? Is your favourite pastime boxing with friends in the kitchen? Do you sometimes feel unduly amorous towards the old? None of that matters, it’s all distractions merely, but…

Tennis Women Seeking Equal Prize Money Offered Night With Sexy Stepanek

Remarkably, as if there were anything more to say on the subject, the topic of equal prize money when it comes to Grand Slam tennis never strays far from so many spectators’ lips. Whether it’s disgruntled viewers of either gender, or sordid journalists searching for clicks, The Shimmering Ostrich firmly condemns such grotty behaviour, and avows that equal pay should forever persist….