Monthly Horoscopes: July 2016

Aries (20 March – 19 April) You’ve always considered yourself a touchy-feely kind of person, but this month when a damp hand finds your nether region you may wonder to yourself, was this really our anniversary? * * * Taurus (19 April – 20 May) Stressful times call for modes of release, but squirting the cream canister so firmly makes the…

John Cena On Both Brands As WWE Bows To Fan Pressure

With the WWE brand split just weeks away the company’s writing staff, mentally stretched at the best of times, are reported to have succumbed to mad panic as they struggle to determine which of their alleged superstars will feature on Raw, and which on a reconfigured Smackdown, which for the first time will emanate live on Tuesday nights from the…

The Dream Of The 1890s Is Alive In Michael Gove’s Britain

First as Secretary of State for Education and now as the chief architect of Brexit, in the public consciousness Michael Gove basks in the rosy glow of a Britain long since passed. O-levels, the Commonwealth, even the Australia from which Gove would derive his points-based immigration system, all these are twentieth-century constructs, but ask any one of Gove’s closest allies and…

Theresa May Blames Asylum Seekers For Lack Of Tory Cohesion

As she outlined her credentials and sought to shrug off claims that the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom must be he who can loudest shout ‘Brexit!’, Theresa May admitted that bitterness and strife are the way of today’s Conservative Party, pointing the finger squarely at asylum seekers and immigrants. Brushing aside questions about her rival Michael Gove – suggesting that ‘What…

Chilean Makes Piñata Out Of Missed Messi Spot Kick

Did you know that the piñata isn’t only a Mexican custom? A conflux of Mesoamerican tradition and Chino-European celebration which was once commonly associated with Lent, hitting decorated papier-mâché with a stick in order to release candy or other goodies is part of the culture throughout much of Latin America. And when Mexico exited the Copa América Centenario at the quarter-final stage, succumbing 7-0…

Let’s All Get Fresh Beneath This Strawberry Moon

The year 2016 is turning into a lot of different things to a lot of different people. But collectively it provides us with an all-too-rare chance to witness a Strawberry Moon, so let’s come together this one night only, toss off our robes, wash our hair in the river, and get down to party! What is this Strawberry Moon? The Strawberry Moon was…

WADA Chief Dick Pounds Down On Kenyan Walk For Peace

A ‘Walk for Peace’ through the heart of Kenya’s Rift Valley was rudely interrupted in the early hours of this morning by the bellowing voice and pulsing veins of Dick Pound, former president and ongoing associate of the world anti-doping agency WADA. The walk – which aimed to calm a spate of cattle rustling and other bovine-related violence across Kenya’s northern regions…