Aries (20 March – 19 April) Uranus retrograde and the feeling is painful. * * * Taurus (19 April – 20 May) A lover scorned is no worse than a hammock distended. *** Gemini (20 May – 20 June) Lots going on behind the scenes, all masked by your gut protruding. * * * Cancer (20 June – 22 July)…
When Jeremy Corbyn was asked if he wanted to see Britain suffer, under the yoke of European, or perhaps somehow Iranian, or simply good old fashioned home-grown debt, he responded – in spite of his extravagant spending policies – that as a matter of fact he would rather it not. And when he was prodded and goaded and asked if…
It was all there: golden showers, which the uncouth simply call ‘pissing’, spanking, whipping, poo-poo porn, sexual acts partaken in public, the insertion of enough fingers to amount to a fist, one woman quite clearly menstruating, and stranger still a male in pantyhose with a stiletto in his mouth, vigorously nibbling the heel while he lay masturbating. Worse than all…
The battle for Brexit was always a two-pronged attack, vowing to take back control of our borders and wave goodbye to the pesky immigrants polluting our otherwise prosperous shores, and to warmly welcome bendy bananas and overpowered vacuum cleaners while taking back control of our laws. But for Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union David Davis – a…
Legal highs are like sex without violence: alright for afternoon tea with Grandma, but no good when you’re in dire need of a real fix. The problem with illegal drugs has traditionally been their uncertainty: not always easy to find, and even when you think you’ve stumbled upon the right supplier, it remains difficult to ascertain what lies therein. Just…
In the depths of the capital secluded from sight and the balmy weather, a man stretches in his private chambers ahead of a grand performance. It is a performance he has undertaken many times before in his life, and as the crowd outside throngs and gathers, he touches his toes and completes jumping jacks and if anyone was present to…
Time was when it was the ‘in’ thing to find oneself in the possession of a willy. It was the mark of the masculine, of a certain swaggering virility, of cowboys and sports stars and ad executives, of spread legs on dingy subways, hard power over soft power, gun-toting hip-thrusting scarcely receding vigour. A dangling willy served as the world’s…
Aries (20 March – 19 April) Mars is opposing Pluto, and shit is about to go down. And so it does, and as is the way among the planets, another planetary aspect occurs and you find your sweet release. * * * Taurus (19 April – 20 May) The second Monday might be okay, but the third Thursday of the…
