Aries (20 March – 19 April)
‘Excalibur my sword’ you proclaim heraldically, but your nobility falters when you can’t remember whether you’re supposed to pull it out or shove it in.
* * *
Taurus (19 April – 20 May)
A plummy lip might win you distant admirers, but if you want to meet the one of your dreams better tuck in that pout.
***
Gemini (20 May – 20 June)
It’s that time of year when you need to shop for more candles. Jasmine, cedarwood, and pumpkin spice, candles blaze a trail all over your living area, or light a path to the bathroom in the middle of the night when the wind howls and the bedsheets become sodden.
* * *
Cancer (20 June – 22 July)
If that ambition that you got won’t quit playing with you, remember that success in a brass instrument means getting down to brass tacks.
* * *
Leo (22 July – 22 August)
Have you ever considered changing your hair conditioner? Consider a leave-in product with a citrussy scent as a comet goes hurtling through Leo this month.
* * *
Virgo (22 August – 22 September)
An ageing pen pal claiming affiliation to your great aunt gets in touch unexpectedly. Could this be the life change you’ve been lusting after?
* * *
Libra (22 September – 22 October)
Brick red, russet brown, or burnt umber, if you have to tell everyone about your favourite colour this autumn, at least be prepared to stick with it.
* * *
Scorpio (22 October – 21 November)
‘Now that is absolutely disgusting of you, I can’t believe you’ve just gone and done that. I don’t understand who brought you up to behave in that manner’. Yes family gatherings may be trying, but sometimes when they’re not around you might miss them.
* * *
Sagittarius (21 November – 21 December)
Play games more often. Turn your spare time into game time, without kickoffs, hunting, or theory.
* * *
Capricorn (21 December – 19 January)
The polar ice caps are melting, for goodness sake, at least in the vicinity of one of the poles, and all the while you keep stressing about having to defrost your freezer. Try to reorient your affairs towards that which is most important.
* * *
Aquarius (19 January – 19 February)
One in the chamber, thirty-two in the clip, how many times must you be among the multitude on standby?
* * *
Pisces (19 February – 20 March)
O how the waters come down at Lahore
