Scottish hearts bled last week, and for anyone who felt inclined to sample the viscous body fluid, the taste was unsurprisingly sweet. But on this occasion it had nothing to do with Irn-Bru and Mars Bars, for at stake were some of Scotland’s other prides and joys. Scotland’s berries were under attack from those down south.
Tesco, Britain’s biggest supermarket, had surreptitiously removed the Saltire from its punnets of Scottish-grown strawberries, replacing the Scottish flag with the Union Jack. A Twitter response to a concerned ‘Eileen’ stated that this followed complaints from English customers, who had lamented the absence of the St George’s Cross on English-produced fruit. The company later recanted on this explanation however, suggesting that for the sake of consistency from now on all berries would simply be marked with the union flag.
Already unhappy with a European identity, eschewing the sort of enlightened outlook which characterises the Scots, the Little Englanders who run Tesco at the same time want to turn Scotland and England – and their respective berries – into one indistinguishable mush. If strawberries bred in Scotland are no longer to bear the Saltire, it can only be because the English don’t want to admit who hosts the ripest fruit.
Worse still, the same fate has befallen the Scottish raspberry, the cherished fruit of the Cranachan and the Tipsy Laird. When it comes to the celebration of Burns Night north of the border, true patriots henceforth will give Tesco a miss. The debate around Scottish independence is sure to rage on, but on this topic Scots unanimously see red, for their berries are no trifling matter.
